A Plan for Courageous Change
I spent a few years working in the organic and health food industry where I became familiar with a lot of new ideas and terms. One that stood out for me was the concept of “Healing Crisis.” This is the idea that when you make positive changes in your diet and general lifestyle after a time of neglect, you may experience a period of detoxification that can be quite difficult and symptomatic. This is a stage that must be slogged through and endured in order to enjoy the newly acquired healthy life ahead. The problem is that many people encounter this stage and become discouraged that their new healthy habits are bringing such discomfort and therefore quit. Some even draw a connection between the good habits and the discomfort and therefore return to their bad habits with new resolve and satisfaction that they are right and they shouldn’t ever change again. This is most unfortunate.
There are many lessons to be had in this. We all repeat, almost without thinking, the adage “change is never easy.” This is why we fear change, and why we shouldn’t. We all know there are changes we need to make in our professional and personal lives, but we don’t make them because we know it will be difficult and uncomfortable. The transition is a rickety rope bridge between two solid spaces. The side upon which we stand may be secure but the grass is a bit brown and dry, and life is predictable and boring. Ahead is lush greenery and the promise of excitement and fortune. The rope bridge spans a deep and cavernous gorge which fills us with fear. We must experience that fear and uncertainty as we traverse the bridge in order to attain the better life we know lies ahead. Regardless of whether this fear and discomfort is anticipated or not, many will either turn back or never venture out in the first place, settling instead for mediocrity.
Think about the changes you know you need to make in your life. You might feel you deserve a pay raise or a promotion, but in order to do that you need to have a conversation with your supervisor. There may be restructuring required within your department that requires making difficult decisions. Perhaps you have to end a relationship. The various processes we must undergo in order to facilitate these changes, we undertake with the full knowledge that it will not be comfortable and this requires courage.
There is a safety line on this bridge, however. Because we go into these changes expecting a period of difficulty, we can prepare for it. Formulate a “Strategic Plan” which will deliver you to your desired outcome. Work backwards from your goal to anticipate potential issues and areas which may require special preparation. This plan will reinforce the bridge making it safer and more comfortable to cross and will bring you to your goal with greater speed.
We can help you attain the skills you need to plan for change! Giant Leap Consulting will be conducting a webinar on Strategic Planning on April 20 at 2pm EST. Please follow the link for details.
http://giantleapconsulting.com/courageous-future-strategic-planning-webinar-opportunity/
Living the Life of a Filler
I can’t get enough of the human-interest stories that news programs produce. I think they are fascinating. These stories provide a glimpse into real lives, and they demonstrate the truth that every person has a story worth telling.
Thanks to the Today Show, I got to learn a little about Mr. Tyrone Curry. He is a Vietnam veteran, a high school janitor with 35 years on the job, the high school’s track coach, and the winner of a $3.4 million lottery.
There are many aspects of Mr. Curry’s story that I found fascinating to learn about, but the one theme that really jumped out to me was how focused he was on supporting other people. He’s spending $40,000 this summer to build a state of the art track field for his team. He wants to build a better tennis court complex to support the tennis coach and team.
One example soared though. One of his senior students lost his mom to a heart attack quite suddenly. The boy’s father isn’t around, and the honor student started to flounder. The young man was just going through the motions of life and didn’t see how his future could get better. And one day Coach Curry pulled him aside and walked down the track with him. In a few words, he reminded the boy that he wasn’t on his own. Mr. Curry is going to pay for this young man’s college education.
It seems to me that Mr. Curry understands the importance of supporting and encouraging other people. When Curry’s dream to become a teacher was cut short 35 years ago due to budget cuts, he found a way to stay within the education field by becoming a janitor and coach. He shifted his medium, but his purpose remained the same. Mr. Curry is a living example of what we would call a “Filler.” He looks for ways to encourage other people to succeed in the face of challenge, to be courageous, and gets so much fulfillment from that act of support.
I love these real life examples of how people support one another. Have you had a person encourage you at critical moments of your life? Tell us about your experience.
Also, if you want to learn more about Mr. Curry, head over here at MSNBC.
What are YOU Looking At?
“Get this straight; I don’t want you to even think about going near that rock.”
These words, a final bit of coaching advice, were said to me just as I got ready to paddle over Nanny Falls, the culminating rapid on the Nantahala River. It takes a few excursions before a beginner kayaker can graduate to Nanny Falls, and I had managed to flounder my way down a few other rivers. But this experience was bigger and splashier. It was also more dangerous, as Gabe, the most experience kayaker paddling with our group, incessantly let us know.
“…don’t even think…rock…near…don’t…rock…near…rock…”
Funny how one’s nerves can distort one’s thinking. Gabe’s words reverberated in my head as if he had just banged them on a steel drum. What he wanted me to do was focus on paddling into the patch of water in the alcove just beyond the rock. Kayakers call such safe-zones “eddies”, because they reside outside of the rapids. The rock that Gabe was warning me against was a house-sized slab of granite with the bottom edge hung over the river, creating what’s known as an “undercut” – a dangerous hole that can trap a kayaker, recirculating them over and over under the water. Getting pinned in an undercut is one of the most common causes of kayaker death.
“…near that rock…that rock…near…rock…”
As I paddled toward Nanny Falls, all I could think about was what Gabe told me not to think about…that rock. That damned forsaken rock. That gigantic fossilized piece of kayaker-ingesting…
WHOMP!
“Holy crap!” I thought to myself, “I’m trapped upside down under that boulderous bastard!” And I was! By over-warning me about the rock, Gabe had helped me narrow my thinking until all I could think about was the stupid rock. Instead of focusing on what I needed to do, I was focusing on what I needed not to do. That anti-goal thinking had helped me get pinned under a granite behemoth.
Somehow I managed to dislodge myself from my boat, grip the bottom edge of the rock with one hand, and pull myself out of the liquid vortex. I had escaped, but narrowly.
When faced with, or witnessing, other situations that required healthy doses of courage, I’ve often thought back to this early kayaking experience. I’ve come to believe that when it comes to the advice of coaches and friends, it is more common for people to tell you what not to do, than to do. Their motives are in the right place, but their approach isn’t. In order to keep you safe, they over-warn you about the dangers. In small measure, this makes sense, but when heightening your awareness of the dangers becomes the overriding focus of their advice, it becomes the equivalent of telling you, “Whatever you do, do not think about the color blue!”
When it comes to putting courage inside of others, the literal definition of encouragement, a better approach, is to spend more time on specifying what a person should do, not what they should avoid. Driving a car works much better when you’re watching where you’re going, than when you’re looking at all the things you should avoid.
Relative to your goals and challenges, the important question becomes, What are you looking at? Are you focusing on where you want to go? Or are you leering at all those things that could trip you up? Your courage will help you go in whichever direction you are most mentally committed to – your goal or your dangers.
