The Truth About The Compromise Trap

Elizabeth Doty is a consultant, coach, and facilitator specializing in how people participate in large organizations while staying true to themselves and being a positive force – however they define those. Her latest book, The Compromise Trap: How to Thrive at Work Without Selling Your Soul, explores the true cost of the daily, small compromises we make so easily.

Elizabeth graciously allowed Giant Leap to ask a few questions we thought would help keep our readers current on the latest thinking in leadership and organizational development.

Giant Leap: Your book, The Compromise Trap, deals with the small compromises that we make in the near-term that cause damage to one’s soul in the long-term. How can people manage the practical decisions of day-to-day, yet still honor the longings of their lives?

Elizabeth Doty: Well, that definitely is a common tension. In this economy, it’s easy to think a personal mission is a luxury for after we have arrived.

Unfortunately, this creates two problems. First, as leaders, we are already making a difference in the world, for better or worse – in the lives of our employees, our customers, our investors, the public and the environment. We might as well think now about what we want that impact to be, right? Second, if we wait to integrate our higher values into our day-to-day actions, we risk falling into the compromise trap. Making small incremental compromises over time can erode our sense of integrity, confidence and self-respect, and become a sort of devil’s bargain by degrees.

Many leaders I interviewed had learned that higher aspirations are not a luxury, but a source of personal power. They increase your vitality, creativity, and confidence. Every act of courage increases your courage.

“I’ve always looked for jobs with a sense of purpose,” said one senior leader. “It’s not a Don Quixote thing; it’s how I’ve made my living for twenty years.”

Giant Leap: What role does courage play in keeping people from falling into the compromise trap you describe?

Elizabeth Doty: As I’m sure you teach people, courage is a very important value, because without it, we cannot stand up for any other value. As I see it, three kinds of courage are critical to staying out of the compromise trap.

First, we need the courage of the warrior.  If you are asked to turn a blind eye to serious harm, to take a shortcut on a safety procedure,  or mishandle someone’s mortgage, you need to know you have the courage and the skills to refuse. Every professional needs to know how to deliver a positive no, and be prepared to walk away from any job at any time should the circumstances become severe enough.

Secondly, we need the courage of the adventurer, which you describe so well in Courage Goes to Work. This is the willingness to try something new, to step up and take risks.  With this type of courage, we are less likely to believe the only way to achieve our goals is through unhealthy compromise; we have greater confidence that we can create real value and be rewarded for it – and it works.

Finally, we need the courage to ask ourselves hard questions. As human beings, we are literally wired not to see disconfirming data. When confronted with a contradiction between our actions and our beliefs, the reasoning centers in our brain turn off and we unconsciously adjust our point of view to avoid being wrong. So it takes courage to ask ourselves whether we might have done something wrong and look honestly at the facts.

The big surprise for most people is that courage requires maintenance. Through my interviews, I found courageous leaders tapped six different factors to increase their courage, including strong relationships, influence skills, and keeping a broad perspective on the world. Maintaining their courage enabled these leaders to enter a parallel universe. Coincidentally, one manager I spoke with mentioned your book, Right Riskem>, in describing her experience.

“When you acting with integrity, it just doesn’t feel like risk,”she told me. “It feels like the right thing to do.”

Giant Leap: Your latest work focuses on upward spirals. What are they, and how can we create them?

Elizabeth Doty: I think you’ll agree that many systems are at tipping points–our organizations and our schools, our economy, our society, and the environment. We hover between upward spirals – success loops of positive, self-reinforcing change that enable real growth, creativity and value – and downward spirals, where destructive patterns destroy growth, innovation and value.

In situations like these, how do we reverse destructive cycles and mobilize positive momentum? Confronting a downward spiral’s momentum already requires tremendous courage. But what if your courage could be a spark that helps tip the system for the better?

This was the real lesson in The Compromise Trap. As it turns out, when we exercise courage in a certain way, our actions can have a tremendously positive effect – especially when we shift from being right to helping the right thing happen.

For example, I met an account executive who told me a story about being isolated and ridiculed by her boss. She was stuck in a downward spiral of self-doubt, poor performance and defensiveness, but she stayed because she needed the job. Then one day, she decided she had had enough. But rather than quit in a huff, she walked into her boss’ office and said, “Boss, you cannot treat me this way any longer. This is not okay—it is insulting to me, and it is disabling my ability to create the results I promised you. So, I recommend either I quit today or you start treating me like a member of the team.” She expected to be fired, but instead he acknowledged the problem, changed his behavior, and she went on to become one of his top salespeople.

This executive demonstrated what I call “generous courage,” which turns out to be a common ingredient stories about turnarounds and takeoffs – in relationships, businesses, and society. Once I began noticing that there were patterns, I began studying this sort of courage and outlining the “simple rules” that leaders can apply to mobilizing their teams around a mission, building cross-functional collaboration, or elevating ideas in the midst of complexity.

Giant Leap: What is your greatest hope for the work you do?

Elizabeth Doty: The very first time I talked with my clients about upward spirals, an HR Vice President sent me a personal note. “I hope this becomes the focus of the rest of your life’s work.”

Her comment helped me realize my own mission.  What if everyone knew the principles for building upward spirals?  The power of generous courage?

So, my greatest hope is that leaders will use an upward spiral strategy to confront whatever gets between them and their higher aspirations – whether they use that terminology or not.  That executives, team members, parents, neighbors and citizens will recognize the need to invest in the vital core that generates and sustains anything we care about — a business that succeeds, a community that thrives, or a world that works.

Courage Goes To Work, The Compromise Trap, and many books by our fellow authors at Berrett-Koehler give us the tools to take that kind of constructive action. What we need to do next is ask the question one of my colleagues asks her MBA students, “What upward spirals do you want your leadership to serve?”

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